because

Relationships are never easy. Not with friends, family, or significant others.

Every relationship has it's ups and downs right? And it's normal to worry about them yes?

I'm worried about on of my relationships, and it's been stressing me out.

Last night when I was hanging out with my boyfriend and we were snuggling, two embarrassing things happened to me. I don't know why it happened then, but for the first time in a long time I started to cry. Poor boyfriend didn't know what was happening or where it came from. Part of it had to do with my own damn clumsiness, I wish that I was less clumsy and more sexy. (too much to ask for huh? lol) And another had to do with the sadness I feel from the silence that seems to be making frequent stays with my relationship with one of my best friends.

He kept asking me what was wrong while wiping away my tears and kissing them, and the words were there in my mind. UGH I'm just clumsy and the opposite of sexy and when you leave she wont talk to me.

So Instead of playing that same record that he's heard a million times by now, I just said I was embarrassed for elbowing him in the face and how clumsy I am. And I closed my eyes as he held me and ran his fingers through my hair and I tired not to think of the silence I'd be getting later on.

I just don't know what to do any more. Okay thats a lie. I know what to do and I know what will make it better, but it's nothing that I can do, it's something she has to do and something she wont do. So in the mean I guess I'm going to hope that this friendship wont fall apart.